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Why does a violent abuser seek "Power and Control" over the victim?


Please note that this is a very serious and sensitive topic, and it's important to approach it with respect and care.

"Our collective fight against domestic violence continues, and every step we take brings us closer to a world where abuse is not tolerated."

-Chris Meyer

This video is in response to the recent murder-suicide in Houston that occurred during the custody exchange of an infant. You can read the article here on ABC13 Houston.

Father found dead after mother shot and killed during child custody exchange

Abusers seek to have power and control over their victims for a variety of reasons. Some abusers may feel insecure or inadequate, and they use abuse to feel more powerful and in control. Others may have a history of abuse themselves, and they are repeating the cycle of violence. Still others may be controlling and manipulative by nature, and they use abuse to get what they want.

No matter the reason, abuse is never the victim's fault. Abusers are responsible for their own behavior, and they choose to abuse their partners. There is no excuse for abuse.

Here are some of the reasons why an abuser might seek to have power and control over their victim:

  1. To feel powerful and in control. Abusers often have low self-esteem and feel insecure. They use abuse to feel more powerful and in control.

  2. To punish the victim. Abusers may feel that the victim has done something wrong, such as cheating on them or leaving them. They use abuse to punish the victim and make them feel bad.

  3. To control the victim's behavior. Abusers want to control the victim's every move. They may isolate the victim from their friends and family, make them financially dependent on them, or prevent them from working.

  4. To make the victim feel worthless. Abusers want to make the victim feel like they are nothing and that they deserve to be abused. They may put the victim down, call them names, and make them feel like they are worthless.

  5. To get what they want. Abusers may use abuse to get what they want, such as money, sex, or obedience. They may threaten the victim, intimidate them, or use violence to get what they want.

If you are in a relationship with an abuser, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are resources available to help you get safe and get the support you need. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at

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(c) 2023 Christopher Meyer Law Firm, PLLC All Rights Reserved The information on this video is for general information, entertainment and educational purposes only. Nothing herein should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney client relationship Please call (281) 845-2472 if you have any questions about this disclaimer.

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